Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12
The fifth commandment is also a promise. The first four commandments focus on your relationship with God. This is the first of his commandments about relationships with other people and setting boundaries. It is first because of how the family dynamic is a representation to the world your relationship with God. It is the first commandment with a promise.
To honor your parents is to honor God. Later in the new testament it does go into how the parents are responsible in raising their children to be able to honor them and other people. If the parent's don't do their part, then it can make it harder to understand what it means to honor God and other authority figures. However, your relationship with God is up to you. It is your choice to honor your parents even when you don't feel like it.
Honoring your parents leads to a happier and healthier family unit. That means less stress. Less stress typically means a healthier body and mind. That means you are more likely to live longer, healthier, and productive life. A healthy family is a unit like a small version of the church. When life gets hard you have support. You are not facing it alone. Failure makes life unnecessarily harder. You are more likely to make life decisions that will shorten your life span.
Another part of the promise is blessed to enjoy the land God has given. He promised His people specific land. Today, it is the land that is yours and the lifestyle that you live. If you live a holy lifestyle, then it will be fruitful in different ways. You get to enjoy life in a pure way that is healthier and more vibrant. It could be the ability to travel, own a lot of land, or enjoy the environmental elements of the area you do live.
This is a commandment and a promise because any boundary that God lays out for you is for your benefit. If you honor your parents and your parents raise you in the teachings of God, then you are more likely to follow the boundaries that God laid out for you. If you do not have that structure, then teach yourself how to follow God and love your parents in the way that honors God.
Only the stubborn refuse discipline and correction. Those people set themselves up for their own fate. Do not let that be you. Seek wise counsel. Find elders that you can respect to help you in your journey. Lean into God if you don't feel safe with your family.
God knows that living in this world that things are not perfect. Trust Him to protect you and do right by you even if your family does not. As long as you try to honor Him and live a life that is respectful in a way that it shows Him you are trying to obey His commandment, then He will provide a way of protection, love, and structure for you. He knows the heart that loves and tries to obey. He will bless you if you decide to do your part even if your family never does try. Remember your eternal family is in Heaven. You may not have the loving or caring family now, but follow Jesus and you will.
Exodus 20:12, 23:26, Leviticus 19:3, Deuteronomy 5:16, Jeremiah 35:7-19, Matthew 15:4, 19:19, Mark 7:10, 10:19, Luke 18:20, & Ephesians 6:2