Facing What You Fear

    What is your biggest fear in life?  How do you handle it? Do you avoid it?  Do you expose yourself to it to try to overcome the fear?  Do you ignore it because you can't control it?  There a many ways to dealing with fear, but one day we have to face it, prepared or not. 

    After Jacob left Laban, but before he got home to face Esau, God used that time to talk to Jacob in a new way.  God sent angels to prepare him because He knew just how vulnerable Jacob was feeling.  Jacob had a manipulative and self seeking personality along with a quick whit.  He sent messengers ahead to tell Esau that he was seeking Esau's favor.  In response, Esau went to meet Jacob with 400 men.  Maybe he did not mean any harm and wanted to welcome his brother with festivities.  Maybe he found it amusing to intimidate his brother.  We don't know what Esau was thinking, but I think he was trying to be prepared for whatever Jacob had up his sleeve.  After all, how could he possibly trust his brother?  

    Jacob probably perceived it as a small army and was naturally afraid.  He used his quick whit and divided the camp into two groups.  He wanted to guarantee that at least one group would survive a siege.  After he did his thing, he prayed to God asking to be saved from his brother.  God being a good father reminded Jacob of His promise all the years before that He would be with Jacob.  Jacob then selected a gift for Esau of select livestock in attempts to pacify his brother's resentment and hatred toward him.  He was not listening to God.

    Jacob sent his camp across the river in groups for protection by appearing less threatening.  He stayed behind.  That night Jacob wrestled with God, but never gave up.  He wanted assurance.  He wanted what he wanted.  At dawn, God hit his hip in a way that it never healed properly, but instilled a new character.  He found salvation that night.  That is why his name was changed from Jacob to Israel.  This night changed all of history.  

    Jacob faced his fear.  His fear drove him to a new place.  His fear drove him to God.  In return he found what he really needed.  However, just because he was forgiven it does not mean that the encounter did not change him and leave a lasting impression.  Whenever his old personality tried to come out his hip would remind what really mattered.  He still had a quick whit, but now he used it for the greater good of others over his selfish desires.

Genesis 32