Boundaries

 

    Boundaries are a gift from God that help life make sense.  The Bible illustrates how to set boundaries and follow through.  A boundary is something that you need a relationship, but it is only a desire if you are not willing to carry out the consequences when someone does not respect what you stated. Boundaries are not restrictions.  They give a relationship the ability to be healthy and what each person needs.  Boundaries give you freedom.

    You need to set boundaries within the family, at work, at church, and with friends.  If you do not set boundaries you may walk away from relationships that could be good, be run over, be taken advantage, or more things that leave you unsettled in life.  The people who do these things may not even be aware that they are crossing a line or pushing too hard.  They need you to communicate what you need.

    You know you need boundaries if you find yourself isolating, feeling helpless or hopeless, confused about the relationship, guilty, or out of control.  Being a people pleaser will not work.  People will take until there is nothing left to take and no one actually is content.  

    You set a boundary by identifying with yourself what is not working and why it is not working for you.  Then you go to that person and say what you need in the relationship to make it work.  You don't need to accusatory or anything like that.  In reality you are just a guilty since you went along with it.  Relationships take both or all parties to make them work.  After you tell the person what you need set the line that can't be crossed.  Let them know what the consequences will be if they do cross that line and be ready to do it.

    The consequences are always meant to redirect, but save the relationship.  However, there are some people in the world that will not care.  They will not respect your boundaries no matter how many times you state them.  Pray for those people.  Love those people.  However, it may get to the point that you have to remove them from your life.  It may not be permanent, but you have to be ready to cut ties if it saves you and your relationship with God.

    God set boundaries with people through the commandments.  He defined sin and set the consequences.  He always enforced the consequences.  At the same time, He never stop seeking a close relationship with people.  He loves His people, so He disciplines them.  If people insist in staying in their sin, then they made their own decisions.  God will always uphold what He said.  You need to do the same.

Proverbs 4:23, 14:9-11, Matthew 5:33-37, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, & Galatians 6:4-5