Faith Flashback

 

        Faith gets you through a lot, but you still need friends, time to deal, opportunities to share your faith, growth, and appreciate life experiences.  Sharing your life means becoming vulnerable.  You need humility and vulnerability to make an impact for God in this world.  You need it to experience life with gratitude and being prepared to do anything with Jesus.

    Faith flashback is looking at your life and seeing how you have impacted the world for God.  Have you put yourself out there when the Holy Spirit prompts you?  Do you have the habit to be bold and speak about your faith?  Can you see your faith mature and grow?  Have you learned discipleship?  Do you train anyone in discipleship?  Have your learned how to deal with rejection?

    True faith should help you make connections in life.  It can help you reconnect with people you have once lost, but want to reconcile with or feel a pull to reconnect.  Sunday school or life groups are a fundamental way to make these connections, grow, worship, and learn.  You can visit people as a group.  People to go visit are people who have not attended in a while, people unable to attend, hospitals, death in family, counseling need, and more.

    The point of faith visits is evangelism.  That means the visits need to be positive, but real.  Leave the people feeling like it was a benefit for their life.  Tell them the truth about what the Bible says and invite them to join you again.  If it is someone you know, maybe leave your personal number to be there for them when needed.  Maybe set up something outside of church because life is lived outside of the walls of the church building.  If needed come up with an action plan to help them until things are better.

Psalm 121, Habakkuk 2:4-5, 2 Corinthians 5:16-17, 2 Timothy 1:3-7, & Hebrews 10:32-11:3

Faith Testimony

 

    Evangelism is personal with your testimony.  How you give it and how much detail will depend on the conversation and need.  You can keep it simple or you can get into the depths depending on how the Holy Spirit leads.  No matter what your story is, God will use it.  

    Time is a factor in how you give your testimony too.  If you have a lot of time you can tell your full story.  If you only have minutes, then you can do your salvation story or what God is doing now in your life.  The important thing is to hit the important highlights that give God the glory.

    To prepare on giving your testimony write it out to be no more than three minutes.  Make it concise, but natural.  You want it to impact the understanding and need for forgiveness.  Do your best to avoid churchy words.  It can make Christianity sound like a cult.  You want people to know the difference of true Christianity and everything else.  Churchy words can be confusing to people that have never attended or did not grow up in church.

    Your salvation testimony should include who you were before meeting Jesus, what brought your conversion, and the benefits of salvation.  When you are done let it sit with them for a moment. If they don't ask questions, then you ask them questions.  You want to find what connected with them and focus on that area to get them to see their need for Jesus too.

    If they are open to deeper conversation, then open your Bible or use the Bible app on your phone.  Find the answers to their questions there.  Make it a point that they can find all life's answers in the Bible.  God will never be caught off guard.  He is prepared for every situation, so you don't have to worry about Him not showing up.  He is there.  He is working in their heart even if there is no evidence to that. 

    It is okay if you do not know where everything is in the Bible.  You can use google search, the Bible's index, or another person to get there or answer questions.  Allowing people to see that you are human and not perfect can actually help in bringing people to Christ.  It will make it beginning of their journey easier.  It will challenge you to grow in areas too.  

Psalm 71:12-16, 120, Mark 5:18-20, John 16:12-15, 2 Timothy 1:8-11, 1 Peter 1:3-9, & Revelations 12:10-12

Faith Background

 

    To evangelize about faith you need to understand people's spiritual interest and back grounds.  Not everyone will respond to the same approach.  Some need a strong debate, some need a gentle conversation, some need to see you live out your faith, and some need something completely different.  The reality is that no one can change how another person believes.  Only God can do that, but you do have a role to play by living out your faith and telling people the truth.

    Learning a person's background requires building trust and a real relationship.  There is no technique that can be taught to make that happen.  You either connect with people or you do not.  If you do not, then do your best to live out your faith in front of them, tell them the truth about Jesus, pray, and trust that God will send someone else to connect with them.

    Evangelism needs sensitivity.  You need to be sensitive to hear the Holy Spirit's direction.  You need to be sensitive to the person's experiences, but that does not mean that you are not upfront and honest.  It is all about the body language and how you present the truth.  Your evangelism style needs to reflect God's love in a way that the recipient can hear it.  It does not mean that they will automatically accept it.  

    Ask questions to get to know people.  Ask them about their church background, where they attend now, and if they are a member anywhere.  Church hurts can cut the deepest and last the longest, so you need to be careful with how you proceed when dealing with that.  Prayer may be the only answer.  However these questions will really help you know a person.  

    The last thing you ever want is to come across threatening as a Christian.  No one is interested in what you have to say if you scare, threaten, or are rude to them.  Before you go out make sure you pray especially if you are in a bad mood or had a hard day.  You may come across differently than you want to be perceived.  

    Remember if Godsends you that means that Satan is tailing you.  He will do his best to get you to get in your own way.  Do not take people rejecting Jesus as personal rejection.  It is hard because Jesus is so much a part of your life.  Jesus is strong enough to take it, so give all your hurt feelings over to him.  

    Keep the first conversation simple and lay out your faith and why you believe.  Save the controversial discussion for when you are prepared, ready, and already have a relationship.  You want to always leave the door open to talk more about Jesus.  Go in too hard too soon and the door can be slammed in you face.  

Proverbs 3:5-6, Matthew 17:14-20, John 3:16-17, Acts 1:6-8, Romans 10:5-18, Ephesians 2:8-10, & Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith Transition

 

    When you become a Christian through faith your world begins to change.  The more discipleship training and practice you do the more your relationships will change.  You will lose some, you will find new ones, and some will be strengthened.

    How you talk is something that will change and transition to become more holy.  It starts with listening to the Holy Spirit.  He will convict your heart when you start talking in a way that disparages God or anything He created.  You are a creation of God along with everyone else, so you can no longer tear down yourself or anyone else without hurting God.  

    Rapport may be something that you will have to work on.  You may need to practice in a mirror or with a trusted friend.  Rapport is when you invest into listening to someone else speak and respond in love or kindness.  You can tell hard truths without being insulting, intentionally hurtful, or rude.  It is okay to be honest and forthright, but do not always be blunt.  Consider your words and how they impact other people.

    Conversations are not all about you.  You need to learn how to ask questions that will impact the person you are talking to.  Hopefully it is in a good way, but to have deep conversations, you need to have deep questions.  Ask for opinions, thoughts, insights, viewpoints, and reasons.  The goal is to understand someone's heart if you have any chance to reach it to get them to really hear Jesus.

    When it comes to asking about faith, you will get a confirmation, title only response, unclear about what faith is all about, or no opinion/anger.  You need to be prepared to deal with every person and their response.  If they are already a Christian, then you can basically treat it like a family reunion and a chance at a new friendship.

    If a person's faith is based off of works, then they need a perspective change.  They are close.  They probably want it, but they are missing the door of opportunity.  The majority of so called Christians are in this area or they believe they are because their family was or is.  You can't inherit faith.  It is a personal decision.  You can't earn faith.  You have to take a leap into the unknown and trust that God will catch you.  You need to be sensitive when addressing this so you do not push them further away from God, but do not shy away from the truth either.

    Sometimes people are unclear of what they believe.  You will see this in agnostic and some atheist.  You need to pray for them and be very clear about what faith is and how it connects them to God directly.  It may require more than one conversation.  Do not give up unless they tell you to never talk to them about it again.  Even if you can' talk about it, then they should be able to see you live out your faith and you still pray for them.  Don't push them until they come to you again or the Holy Spirit tells you otherwise.

     Some people will claim to have no opinion on faith, but everyone has an opinion on eternity.  You have to ask questions to discover where they really are.  Some people may come across argumentative or aggressive.  Trust that God will protect you, but remove yourself from the situation if you need to.  God is working on their heart and they are fighting Him, not you.  

    At the end of the day Jesus made it clear.  If you seek your own safety  over faith, then you will lose your life lost for eternity.  However, if you lose your life in faith, then you never have to worry about your eternal life.  It all comes down to trusting God's promises.  Faith is knowing your body will die one day, but you are willing to sacrifice it to glorify Him.  You do not have to be a martyr to be a person of faith.  You just have to be willing.

Joshua 1:6-9, Isaiah 43:18-21, Romans 8:26-30, 2 Corinthians 5:16-17, Philippians 4:6-7, Titus 3:3-7, & Hebrews 13:8-9

Faith Discipleship

    You become a Christian through faith in Jesus.  There is no other way.  Your faith becomes discipline through obedience, but how are you to learn how to be obedient to God?  You need people to teach you discipleship and start reading the Bible for yourself, so you can really get to know the voice of the Holy Spirit.

    Part of discipleship training is learning how to talk to people about your faith.  People will have good refutes and arguments on why you are wrong and they are right.  It can be easy to back down, but the more scripture you learn and the more you listen to the Holy Spirit the quicker and confident your response will become.

    How do you build rapport with people?  This is important because it will lay out how your visits or discussions will go.  You need to take time to get to know someone, but not so much time that you never get around to talking about faith.  You don't want to rush, but you want to keep it short.  If it goes well, then there will be more opportunities to share your faith and why they need it too.

    When you are meeting for the first time introduce yourself confidently by looking them in the eye with a smile and shaking hands if permitted.  Know their name and do your best not to mispronounce it.  If you are visiting their house be forthright about what brought you there (follow up from visiting the church or whatnot).  Make sure the conversation is not one way.  Ask them questions like what brought them there?  Do they know anyone in the church?  Where are they from?  It can be related to the visit to stay on topic, but gives them a chance to speak and reveal how open they are to conversation.

    When you are trying to share your faith make sure you make a connection.  Find out what their interest are or what they are involved with, so maybe you can connect in a less formal environment.  Discipleship only works if you are willing to become real friends.  True friendship doesn't happen over time, but it does require intentionality.  If you are initiating the relationship, then you need to make them feel comfortable around you.

    Sometimes this part of discipleship is hard for people.  You may need time to prepare, study your Bible, and pray.  I recommend that for everyone, but some people do well put on the spot or in the spot light.  No matter who you are, you can do this.  You do it because it in love for God and loving people the way God loves them.  You do this to reveal soul saving truth to people who may not know or understand.  You do this because you know some people may never step into a church building and you are the only church that they may know.  

Matthew 28:16-20, Luke 9:21-27, & John 8:31-32, 13:31-38

Faith Visit

 

    Making visits is a part of evangelism.  You can go to a home, have a conversation with a co-worker, school firend, or any setting that God puts you in to give your testimony and tell people about Jesus.  Part of being ready is being alert.  You will miss opportunities if you are not paying attention.  Be yourself.  Training says to be calm and tranquil, but God gave you a personality for a reason.  He will use it to connect with other people.

    If you are doing a visit with someone you do not know introduce yourself.  Tell them where you go to church and look for ways to start a conversation.  If they are in the community, then the church you announce will already let them know what kind of person you are.  If you are not able to be proud of the reputation of the church, then you may want to look for another church.  Ask yourself does my church make people turn away or want to come?

    Do not just jump into preaching to someone.  Have areal conversation.  Find out about who they are and what they are facing in life.  If you are a team doing a visit, then one can do most of the talking, one can pray, and one can take physical or mental notes.  The point is to make a real connection and make them fell wanted.  You want them to want Jesus.  Take your ego out of the equation.  

    Allow the Holy Spirit to lead the conversation and be spiritually prepared.  If you don't feel confident, then practice conversations before going out.  Your appearance should be clean, neat, and tactful.  You should give off the feeling that you are kind and respectful by how you shoe concern for people and their needs.  You need to learn how to be a good listener.  Basically make yourself approachable and inviting.  

    The final thing is incorporate your personal prayer life into your visits.  Pray for the team.  Pray over where to go.  Pray over conversations.  Pray for the people as they allow you into their lives.  Pray for those that shut the door in your face.  Pray over everything that may happen.  It is always good to keep a group prayer journal, so you can revisit victories and find ways to improve.  Victories are important to keep you motivated, but failures can teach you a lot.

Psalm 121, Mark 9:23-24, John 11:25-26, 14:23-26, Romans 4:20-25,  Hebrews 11:1-3, James 2:21-26, & 1 Peter 1:8-9

Faith Evangelism

 

    If you are a Christians, then you have been commanded by God to go out and make disciples.  That means that evangelism is to be a part of your life.  That does not mean you have to be a minister, pastor, or anyone like that.  This evangelism is the fact that you love God so much that you are compelled to live your life with Him in it and to tell people about Him.  If you lead someone to Jesus, then you stay with them to make sure they are trained Biblically and not worldly in what the Bible says.

    You need strong faith to deal with opposition.  The more you stand in your faith the more opposition you will face from the world.  Do not let it stop you from teaching the people who want to know about Jesus who He is.  Disciple them so well that you know when they go out into the world that they are prepared.

    Church is where believers come together for this purpose.  That way no one is working alone.  Iron sharpens iron.  Make sure you are a member of a church that focuses on Jesus and the command to make disciples.  The goal should to reach spiritually lost people in your community.  

    Be open to look at things differently and develop a new perspective.  When you read the Great Commission what do you envision?  Has God already given you an inspiration for how to reach people: coffee shop, visitation, small groups, book club, sports, hiking, singles ministry for older adults?  There is so many ways to incorporate evangelism in your life.

    Your Christian lifestyle needs you to be around other Christians.  You really need to have a couple of people of the same sex that are stronger in their faith than you to help you become stronger.  You need to do Bible study, prayer, and fellowship with other believers.  

    Here is where most of us have to change.  It needs to be seven days a week.  That does not mean we need to meet everyday.  A short call, email, or text would suffice.  It is about staying connected and making sure the world does not influence you more than God's people.

    When you have Biblical friendships like this, then you are prepared to talk to anyone who is not a believer.  You have support, help, and prayer warriors backing you.  How can people know how to pray for you if they don't know what is going on in your life?  

    These evangelical friendships will also help you draw people into the church.  These are the relationships that people are craving for.  They may not know or understand how to have them, but everyone needs friendships that are loyal, honest, and hold each other accountable.      

Matthew 28:16-20, Mark 16:15-20, Luke 19:1-10, John 20:19-23, Acts 1:6-8, 2 Timothy 2:1-2, & 1 Peter 3:13-17

Reaching Out in Faith

 

    There are a lot of people out in the world.  When you come together as a church to go share your testimony or connect with people to invite them to join you at church who do you go visit.  The leaders should have a clear plan, but if you have been praying and a name keeps coming to you then you need to share that with your team.  There needs to be structure with visitation, but also flexibility to give the Holy Spirit room to work.

    Reaching out to people about your faith have many avenues.  You can go visit people in the hospital, nursing homes, schools, houses, or other locations.  You can set up weekly coffee and devotional times, sporting events, hiking groups, or other activities where you can connect with people and talk about God.  You can reach out to the people on your Sunday School roster that have not been there or put yourself somewhere to meet strangers and try to talk to them about God.  There is not set way on how you have to reach out to people in faith.

    When you plan on going out as a group for visitation there are several ways you can do it.  I recommend coming together to read some scripture and pray before going out.  The Holy Spirit directs, but people need to get out of their own way sometimes.  You can go out with only your Bible (including being on your phone) or you can take other tools too like presentation guides, leaflets, assignment or participation cards, or polls.  Tools serve a purpose, but all you need is God's Word, prayer, open heart, and an attitude to go.

    If you follow the lead of the Holy Spirit, then you will not do it wrong.  Not every time you go out will people accept Jesus.  That is okay.  You planted a seed.  Celebrate the wins with a humble heart and be prepared to walk with the people that do come to Jesus.  They are starting a new life and will need help and guidance as they discover their new identity in Jesus.  

    As you help the newbie in growing their faith you get a friend.  Hopefully it will become a lifelong relationship based on holy love, trust, and submission to Jesus.  Salvation is meant to bring glory to God not you.  Your job is to teach them how to become a disciple and how to make new disciples.  However a true friendship is always a great perk.  It will help you lead them to their place in the church, evangelism, discipleship, fellowship, ministry, and worship.  At the same time it will strengthen your faith and position in following Jesus.

Proverbs 3:5-6, Matthew 17:14-20, Ephesians 2:8-10, & Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith Schedule

 

    Faith takes time to grow.  It needs to become a part of your daily schedule: bible study, prayer, meditation, fasting, and going out into your community to witness. You have to be intentional about your faith.  A journal will help you stay focused especially if God is working on one are in your life for a period of time.  A journal will help you see your growth over time.

    When you go out into the community as a team it is important to pray together and take the time seriously.  Do not show up late or go off topic.  You came together for a purpose.  There is time for the fellowship, communion, and witnessing.  You need to make time to just hang out and have a cup of coffee, tea, or do some activity but not when you are intentionally trying to reach unsaved people.

    Each person in the group is responsible for expressing their expectations to set boundaries.  Let each other know where your gifts, talents, and passions are.  You also need to let them know of known weaknesses or insecurities.  You can't help each other out if you don't know where people need help.  

    When going out into the community or mission field a single man and woman should never be sent out alone.  Each group should have at least two women and two men so they can talk with any one.  This does not mean that anyone would do anything inappropriately.  It is protection from gossip, temptation, bad perception, or misconceived ideas.  It also can set people up to be more comfortable.  

    The leader of the group is responsible for keeping everyone on schedule to respect everyone's time that they are giving to the group and God's work.  They are in charge of training if the group wants formal training.  They lead by example not just instruction.

    The team members need to respect everyone's time and stay focused and prayerful.  Share what you are learning and highlights of the time spent together to encourage each other.  Work on your personal testimony.  It can be your salvation story, but if you have been a Christian for a long time it would be better talk about what God is currently doing in your life.  The point of the testimony is to build a bridge between unbelievers and God.  

    Another reason to go out is to get people in the community to come to church.  It is not about the numbers or the money.  It is about them finding God, building a relationship, fellowship, and learning.  For some people in the community they may not have any support system.  The church should be their support, family, and sense of belonging. 

    Church is where you should be able to find life long friends that will push you to grow, motivate you, and hold you accountable.  Real friends are not nice.  They are kind.  They will call you out in a loving way.  If you only have people telling you what you want to hear, then you need new friends because no one is perfect. 

Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 40:26-31, 2 Corinthians 5:6-10, & Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith Together

 

    You are not supposed to walk through life alone.  God designed people to need each other.  Christians need a church family.  You need a Christian community.  You need people to inspire, push, and challenge you to grow.  Your church needs to teach all of the Bible not just the happy or inspirational parts.  You should be able to find your ministry and evangelism voice at church or create one in your community.

    Sunday School or Life Groups are special because that is where the relationships are developed.  You should be studying God's Word, praying together, and having fellowship.  It is where nonbelievers can see what Christianity is all about and feel safe to ask questions.  You need to feel like you belong.  If you do not, then keep looking until you find your small group.  Investigation does not stop once you find salvation.  Salvation is the starting point.

    You live in the world more than you do in your quiet place, church, or ministry.  It is important to Christians to connect with to stay grounded.  You need your Christian family as much as you need your actual blood family.  You need people praying for you, checking in on you, and even visiting you.  Faith is your foundation, but you need the people God places in your life to be able to develop it.  

    Developing your faith with other believers helps you grow in grace and strengthen your gifts, abilities, and strategy to minister to other people.  Having a mentor and being a mentor will help you ne equipped while you help others be equipped too.

    You can find some of your worst hurts in life at church.  You have to remember a lot of people go to church because it is their hospital.  Hurt people hurt others.  Pharisaical people always think their right.  You need to find forgiveness in your heart and do not allow them to hinder your relationship with Jesus.  You need church like it or not.  After finding forgiveness, you have to make yourself available.  Nothing is impossible for God, so do not put him in a box.  Work on turning from your own sins and allow God to work on everyone else.  After all Heaven is the goal that you want for everyone.

    When you are evangelizing be sure to inquire of people's lives, perspectives, and culture.  It will affect how you can relate to them.  Invite them to your church.  If they are not at a place where they would visit a church yet, then invite them into your life in some way: outdoor activity, coffee, book club, anything.  This will allow them to see God working in your personal life, not just your public Christian appearance.  Insure the people that you lead to Christ that they are loved and safe.  Help them build their faith from scratch.  

Matthew 18:19-20, Acts 2:42-47, Romans 1:10-12, 2 Timothy 2:1-2, & Hebrews 10:23-25

Meaning of Faith

 

    Faith is having complete trust or confidence in someone or something.  In Christianity it is believing in something that you have never seen.  Reality tells you that it is impossible, but you believe that it is real making it possible.  Your faith believes in Jesus as your evidence.

    Faith is believing that salvation comes through Jesus alone.  There is no other way.  If you choose to follow Jesus, then it will change every aspect of your life: how you view the world, react to the world, and wisdom.  Jesus gives you a different kind of control over your life.  His control leads to freedom that the world does not understand.  You choose to obey God even when you do not understand because you believe that it is for a bigger purpose than yourself.

    You have the opportunity to be made right with God because Jesus can to this world to be the human sacrifice for everyone's sins.  All you have to do is believe.  When you do you start following Him to experience a little of heaven on earth even in suffering.  You do this because you know when you die you will join him for an eternity of peace that is unknown in the world today.

    You cannot earn salvation.  You can only find it in faith.  Faith becomes a part of who you are in the core because the Holy Spirit lives in you now.  It is only the beginning to your new life's journey.  It will be full of ups and downs, but you are no longer alone in any of it.  

    You become Jesus' modern day witness to tell the world how he changed your life.  Faith is personal and lived out publicly.  The stronger your character becomes like Jesus the more impact you will have in the world.  You choose a life of obedience over comfort.  You choose to walk in faith over feelings.  It is not easy, but it does lead to internal and eternal peace.

    Faith is taking God at His Word.  The Bible proves that God never lies, so you have support there.  You believe in God's promises.  You can look at your own life there and see how He has come through and trust that He will again.  

    Faith is more than one sided thought.  You have to make yourself available to God.  You will never grow and mature if you do not invest in the relationship.  You are open to living a new and extraordinary life or a simple one that impacts the people around you.  The size of your journey doesn't mean anything.  God puts you where He wants you.  He just wants you to follow Him faithfully and keep Him your primary heart focus.

Isaiah 6:8-10, Matthew 5:13-16, Acts 1:7-8, & Hebrews 11

Faith in Action

 

    Faith is the key that gets you into Heaven, but it is so much more than that.  Faith is a word that transforms your life as you develop your relationship with the Trinity.  It is also an action word.  You were never meant to stop growing or sit at church enjoying learning.  Faith is meant to be shared with the world.  The world may not appreciate it, but if you never share then they never have the chance to have what you have.  Sharing your faith is the ultimate act of love.

    Evangelism is a ministry that a lot of people make more complicated than it needs to be.  Make it personal.  Don't worry about all the programs unless they give you more confidence.  Trust God to give you what you need in the moment.  

    A great way to start putting your faith in action is to journal.  Enter in your prayers, so you can see them being answered.  Use the journal to reflect what God is teaching you each day and watch as you mature.  Without a journal you may miss it, but other people will not.  A journal can give you confidence to commit yourself to talk to other people.  You only need to start with one person.

    Faith changes every aspect of your life.  Your focus shifts from your selfish desires to wanting to be more like Jesus.  You start identifying ways to be a living testimony among nonbelievers.  You will see that evangelism is a reflection of your heartbeat of faith.

    When you go into the world faith can replace your fear with zeal.  Training can be a confidence booster, but all you need is your testimony.  It is you seeking to have a sincere conversation with another person while being vulnerable to rejection for your beliefs.  At the same time you are trying to understand where they are coming from and make a real connection.  The truth is if they reject you, then you know you did your part and you can walk away without any regret or guilt.

    Baptism is a part of faith.  If you are going to do evangelism the goal is to have people believe in Jesus and all He did.  Baptism is a part of that.  Baptism is the first act of obedience in faith.  If you can't be obedient there, then God can't trust you with more responsibility.  Make sure you do baptism before you go out in ministry.  Once you are in the world declaring your faith, you need to be prepared to stay with new believers until they are mature enough to be in their own ministry.  Even then, you should never abandon them.

    Faith empowers you to do what you never thought you could do before.  It makes being obedient easier.  It bring you joy in all aspects of life.  Why would you not want to share that.  It changes your life, it will change theirs too.  Use this wisdom to make yourself bold enough to face change and uncertainty with people.  

Proverbs 21:15-16, Matthew 28:16-20, John 14:15-21, Hebrews 11:7-10, James 2:14-26, & 1 John 3:18-20

Boundary Success

 

    If you want your boundaries to work for your life and make your version of successful, then you have to mature in developing your boundaries.  It is hard work that will not allow you to stay in your comfort zone, but will be worth it.

    You have to work on resentment to be able to set good boundaries.  You have to be able to identify what is making you angry or frustrated to use it as an indicator that your boundaries have been crossed instead of being led by feelings.  If you never feel angry, then you need to figure out why.  Anger is normal and okay as long as it does not lead you to sin.  Face the truth and discover where your boundaries are weak so you can strengthen them.  Ultimately it strengthens real relationships.  

    As you mature your taste in things and people change.  As you heal you are drawn to other people that know and use boundaries.  You find people that will love you for who you are and will help you set better boundaries.  You need these people to set success boundaries over your life.  In time you will start attracting people learning to love boundaries too and you can help them.

    You need a family to help you in boundaries.  If it is not your family, then allow another family to adopt you into their family.  To be successful you need to be around people with the same Biblical values to help with setting limits and encourage you.  They will practice with you and share one spirit with you.  You are able to set firm boundaries because you have an emotional and spiritual support system.

    When you feel emotionally safe you are able to treasure what you have in life.  You are successful in boundaries because you have the truth and good people in your life.  You take personal responsibility for your mental health and emotional state so that you are not destructive.  This allows you to love others like God loves them.  It also allows you to receive love the way you need to be loved.  

    To be successful with boundaries you have to learn how to say no.  It allows you to grow emotionally and spiritually.  It will help you heal from past injuries.  You need limits to you.  It starts with baby steps to stick and not fall back to old patterns.  Start with safe people, so that when you work with resistant people you do not feel defeated or will crumble under the pressure.

    Boundary success requires being able to condemn your own bad actions, thoughts, and attitudes.  It keeps your conscience from going silent or being guilt ridden.  It drives you to be better and enforce your boundaries.  

    You need strong boundaries when it comes to communication.  You need self-control in conflict, scary situations, and relationships.  Make sure your life goals line up with your boundaries, so that there is no confusion.  This is where you set limits on yourself, not other people.  

    It will mature you in work, personal practices, and in your prayer life.  It makes it where you are honest with yourself, set well defined goals, and refine your character.  When you set internal boundaries you are able to deal with anything in life.  You do things that are good for you because you see the value, not because you are told to do it.  You discover value in love, responsibility, forgiveness, and accepting the truth.  

    Boundary success requires you being able to respect other people's boundaries in return.  This will confront your selfish nature, but enable you to love and have empathy.  People have set limits to themselves just like you.  Everyone's back ground is different, but everyone has the need for personal boundaries.  Respecting each other's boundaries will allow you to find common ground in life.    

    You will have boundary success in your life when you are free to protect yourself, nurture your relationships, and develop your life with God.  Boundaries is a form of stewardship over the person God created.  You need boundaries to mature, be proactive, and have productive conversations.  Ultimately they give you control over your life.  You no longer feel frantic, rushed, or out of control.  They give you direction and rewards.  

    You know you will face resistance, but that does not mean that other people can take anything away from who you are unless you allow it.  Steady your heart and be prepared.  Boundaries are not punishment, but a form of relationship building.  If a person decides that they don't want a part of it, then they are choosing to exit the relationship.  You never asked or wanted that.  It is not your fault.  It is their faulty character at that stage in life.  

Psalm 90:10-12, Proverbs 4:23-24, 10:17-20, 23:6-8, 30:21-23, Matthew 13:44-46, 18:15-20, Luke 14:28-30, John 1:16-18, 1 Corinthians 8:9-13, 2 Corinthians 9:6-8, Colossians 3:12-15, & 2 Timothy 4:6-8

You Resist Boundaries

 

    Sometimes other people are not the problem.  Sometimes you struggle with boundaries.  You may struggle with setting, upholding, or honoring other people's boundaries.  Maybe you have a hard time saying "no".  When you are struggling with personal sin, boundaries can make it clear, but that does not mean that it is easy to uphold.

    You are human.  You have needs.  God created you for a purpose you just have to turn to Him and He will fulfill all your needs.  He will put the right people into your life to help you meet your needs.  He will give you the strength for everything else.  Trust in His timing so that you do not fight the boundaries He has laid out for you.  

    Let go of the bad that has happened in your life.  Mourn what did not happen that you had decided you needed.  Grow from your disappointments as you let them go.  Do not give up on your boundaries just because you do not see results immediately.  Life may postpone certain things, but the truth will always be revealed.  Do not become stuck.  Move on in living your life.  You may trail the path of grief for a time, but it will lead to maturity.

    Do not allow anger to be the excuse that you disregard boundaries.  Fear that gets stuck in your head turns into anger.  This fear will drive you to act rashly if you allow it.  Hurt people hurt others.  You need to bring your fear to God.  Expose it so it loses it's power over you.  Allow God to heal your heart.  

    Fearing the unknown can keep you from setting and enforcing boundaries.  It makes you a prisoner to the what ifs.  Your mind thinks that life may be bad, but you know it and are familiar.  If you change anything it could get worse.  The truth is that it probably will get worse before it gets better, but staying where you are is not good for you or anyone else.  Allow God to show you how things could be different and better.  Stay rooting in who God is and how much He loves you as you adventure out into this new world.  

    Unforgiveness will stop boundaries like a brick wall.  Everyone has flaws.  Remember that before you hold things against other people.  Remember all the stupid things you have done and the people you have hurt.  Remember what it meant to you when you forgave them.  Remember that when people do unforgivable things that forgiving them will free you from their control.  Allow God to bring forth resolution and punishment if it is needed.  If the person repents, then great.  It means you can work toward reconciliation.  If not, then you can move on with your life and leave them in the past where they belong.

    Do not allow fear of abandonment to break your boundaries.  If you feel insecure, then that means that Satan has a foothold in your mind.  If a relationship comes from God, then you do not need to worry about them abandoning you.  If the relationship is not from God, then nothing you do will be able to keep that person.  If you place anyone before God, then God will remove that person from your life.  Living in fear is not living.

    Boundaries may not work if you look externally instead of internally about your problems.  Looking externally makes you the victim and everyone else is the problem.  You think everyone else needs to change, but you.  You need to stop blaming and take a real look at yourself.  Be honest with where you messed up and need to change.  All relationships take more than one person.  It is not all on them.  

    Guilt hinders boundaries.  It is where you get stuck in your own head replaying everything you did wrong.  You messed up.  Accept it, change, and move on.  Do not get stuck focusing only on your negative characteristics.  If you learned from your mistake, then you can move on freely.  Forgive yourself even if the other person never does.  No one gets to keep you a prisoner in your own mind.

    Boundaries are not easy.  That does not change the fact that you need them.  Life is full of trouble, doubts, fears, insecurities, and sin.  Following Jesus doesn't change that, but it does change your eternal outcome, perspective in the journey, and freedom from what holds you back.  Jesus has gone before you and prepared the way. It is not as difficult as it would have been without him.  He is with you throughout it all.  Hold onto your faith, seek God, and set boundaries.

Psalm 68:1-6, Ecclesiastes 7:1-4, Matthew 10:28-31, 26:1-5, John 16:31-33, Romans 7:14-17, 2 Corinthians 5:6-10, 7:8-10, Ephesians 2:8-10, 3:14-19, Philippians 3:7-11, Colossians 2:13-15, & Hebrews 11:8-10

Resisting Boundaries

 

    There will always be people that will not listen or respect boundaries.  Some people may not believe that your boundaries apply to them.  Some people may not understand what your boundaries are.  No matter the reason, you will have to deal with people that resist your boundaries.

    Boundaries bring value to your life.  They give you freedom, but they do require work, maintenance, self-discipline, and desire for peace.  Peace is the motivation behind boundaries.  Boundaries are a form of obedience to God, but it also has to be personal.  You have to see that they are good for you. God has defined who you are and set boundaries in your life to bless you.  You may resist those boundaries which will create an internal battle.

    You will have people resistant to your boundaries, but sometimes you are resistant to setting and maintaining them too.  They create a better life, but you have to make personal changes.  Change can be hard.  In the beginning you will deal with disputes, small battles, losses, and discomfort.  Your salvation gives you security with God, but also change in your personal life.  It sanctifies you, but then you have to change to stay sanctified.  You have to embrace change to have healing and allow the world to see Him in you.

     Outside resistance comes from the relationships that you are trying to establish boundaries with.  Do not allow insecurities, anger, or fear to keep you from setting boundaries in your life that will bring healing.  When people push back you stand firm.  it is common for the person(s) to get angry.  Let them, but do not back down.  It reveals weaknesses in their character.  Your boundaries will force them to learn self-control or to loose you.    

    Boundaries protect you from certain evils of the world.  In return some people will resist your boundaries by using guilt.  Guilt is a very controlling weapon.  People use it to try to force your hand into you backing down so they don't have to.  It reveals their selfish nature and keeps them from having to take responsibility for their own lives.  You can be empathetic, but do not bend on your boundaries.

    Some people will treat boundaries like a game of chess. They use countermoves to get what they want.  Be prepared for these power moves.  Turn to God and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you.  Some people may physically resist your boundaries.  Flee from anyone who would use physical abuse to solve their problems.  If you can't flee on your own, then seek people who will help.  

    Sometimes your boundaries will hurt other people you love.  It is hard to uphold boundaries here, but remember why you placed your boundaries in the first place.  On the other hand there are the blamers who turns everything around and places everything on you.  These people may cry, pout, or get angry.  You need to confront them to make them take responsibility for their own actions.  

    Sometimes you need to set boundaries on people with real needs.  If you don't take care of yourself, then you can't help other people.  It may break your heart, but you are good to no one if you burn yourself out by giving too much of yourself to people.  Have empathy, but teach people how to help themselves.  Give other people the chance to step up and help them too.

    The point of boundaries is to allow your heart to forgive those who have hurt you and hopefully find reconciliation.  You can find healing in forgiving anyone.  However it takes two to reconcile.  Jesus is your model and the Holy Spirit will guide you through this journey.  You and the other persona each have to take personal responsibility for your parts, be willing to change, and become trustworthy.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21, Psalm 16:5-6, Proverbs 25:28, 27:4-6, Jonah 4:9-11, Matthew 10:34-36, 22:37-40, Romans 8:26-30, Ephesians 4:7-8, Philippians 2:12-13, Hebrews 12:1-4

God and Boundaries

 

    The Bible is a book about love.  It is full of lessons that teaches you how to love like God.  It has rules, principles, and moral guidelines, but it is given out of love.  If you need a loving relationship the Bible is where you begin.  God is pursuing you in a way no person ever could.  His love is true and stable.  He loves you even when you act unlovable.  He never gives up on you.  In the process He teaches you how to love.  Boundaries are a way of showing love.

    To have healthy boundaries you need to learn how to love other people the way God loves them.  It is not easy.  Some people will make it very difficult.  However forming boundaries with difficult people will help you love them like He loves them.  It is a labor of love.  

    It all starts with respecting God's boundaries.  God already respects yours.  He does not force Himself into your life.  He will always work through and around your life, but He never forces you to have a relationship with Him.  He will allow you to make your own choices and decisions in life, but that also means you will deal with the consequences.  

    In time you will learn that it is self-destructive to ignore, avoid, or hide from God.  Your soul is always searching for Him.  Your void in your soul will never be satisfied by anything except God.  You have to be bold enough to be honest with yourself.  You can be angry with God.  He is strong enough to take it.  Be angry, but do not turn away from Him.  Be honest with Him about all your thoughts and feelings.  Bring the truth into the light to find freedom.  His love will transform you and heal all your inner brokenness.

    Respect God's boundaries even when you do not understand.  You can't manipulate or sweet talk God into doing what you want Him to do.  You have to accept or reject it.  It is in your best interest to accept and seek understanding if you need it.  God does not need people.  He chose you.  It is your choice to accept His boundaries or not.  The more embrace His love on His terms the deeper your relationship with God will be.

    If you want people to respect your boundaries, then you need to learn how to respect God's boundaries.  In return you will respect other people's boundaries set for you.  You can respect boundaries even if you disagree.  If you respect God's boundaries, then He will look at things from your perspective.  

    God provided boundaries to be acknowledged and respected.  Do not pull away your love when He says no.  Instead try to understand.  He has a bigger perspective of your life and all life than you do.  There is a reason why.  Even if you do not understand, respect His decisions.  He is not turning His back on you.  He is not removing His love.  He is redirecting perspectives and motivations.  

    Relationships can be difficult.  The relationship with God is the easiest relationship you can have.  He will remove people and add people into your life to bring you closer to Him.  He is protecting you.  He is protective of what is His, so He will lovingly take care of you.  It may feel painful for a time, but it is the best thing for you.  He takes responsibility and will heal the heart that others have broken.  

    This boundary of  loves is what the Gospel is all about.  It is all about you finding reconciliation with God.  When you do you find healing, pure love, protection, and more.  All you have to do is put Him first.  You will find boundaries in any relationship that God has created so that you can have pure love that brings living joy into your life.  

    Boundaries help you to be the best person you can be.  The closer you get to God the more you will be a living replica of His love.  It opens your eye to see who God really is.  It makes navigating life easier.  You become a partner with God, not just someone working for Him.  It gives you the strength to live life differently than the world.

Job 13:1-6, Psalm 51:1-6, Ezekiel 18:23-24, Matthew 19:16-22, 22:37-40, 25:13-30, Luke 15:11-32, John 4:21-24, Romans 5:6-11, Colossians 1:15-22, Hebrews 12:10-11, & 2 Peter 3:8-12

Boundaries with Yourself

 

    To be able to set good boundaries in your life you need to be able to look at yourself, your choices, and thought process.  You have to take personal responsibility over how your life has turned out so far.  Decide what you need change to make it look like the life you want.  It all starts with the internal conflict and setting boundaries for yourself.

    Take a humble look at yourself.  Are you able to admit when you were wrong?  Are you strong enough to make internal changes to get the life you want?  Can you set boundaries for your own actions and attitude?  You need personalized boundaries on your diet, money, time, activities, words, substances, sexuality, and more.

    One word you need to learn how to use often is "no".  No can be a complete sentence for other people, but it is necessary for you to have boundaries for yourself.  If your life feels like it is out of control, then the next time someone needs something from you say no.  Simplify your life until you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You can't solve a problem until you are able to identify it, so give yourself what you need to identify your problems.

    You are your own worst enemy.  You need to learn how to love yourself the way God loves you.  Placing limits on yourself is a way to draw closer to God.  This takes being intentional and proactive.  If you know something will not be good for you, then say no.  Do not allow outside forces to push you into something that will not benefit anyone in the long run.  Instead surround yourself with people that will love you the way God loves you and give you wise counsel.

    Will power is not boundaries.  Will power will only get you so far.  Setting boundaries and learning self-discipline will push your further than will power.  Maturing in boundaries is not easy.  The only reason to persevere is to desire God's will over your life and establish healthy relationships.  

    You identify where you have boundary problems through identifying what causes your depression, anxiety, panic, phobias, anger, relationship issues, work problems, phycological issues, OCD, and other isolating issues.  Find the roots and start digging them out.  Burn them so they can never take root in your mind or heart again.  You have to understand where you contribute toward your issues to understand how they become sin to be able to destroy them completely.

    You need to be able to trust God, feel safe, rely on His grace, and allow the Holy Spirit to fuel you to really understand to make boundaries work in your personal life.  Identify the problem,  You have real needs, you fail, you accept feedback, deal with consequences, and become restored to make stronger boundaries.  

    You may have been a victim, but that does not mean you get to stay a victim.  Hurt people hurt other people.  If you stay the victim, then that means you are only hurting the people around you.  You make them the villain or responsible for you.  Neither are healthy.  Take ownership on how to heal and set firm boundaries to have control over your heart and mind.  Boundaries will help you heal.  You may just need a little professional help to get you to a certain point of healing and able to see things more clearly.  

Genesis 3:1-10, Proverbs 10:17-19, 17:27-28, 21:5-8, Matthew 12:33-37, Luke 11:24-26, John 15:1-8, Romans 7:14-20, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, Ephesians 5:6-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, James 5:16-18, & 1 John 4:18-19