A Storm of Feelings

    Emotions are a crazy complicated thing.  They drive us and influence every action we take in life.  They are a beast to learn how to control because without them life is just a shell, but if they control you life is never settled for you or the people closest to you.  Emotions are the root of feels, but feelings have outside influences.  Emotions are the core of who you are with feelings to drive you.  When the emotions are positive then you feel happiness.  However, when they get stormy, then the feelings become consuming.  When there are too many emotions happening at once you can't process them.  That is when feelings tend to go toward the negative.  The storms of emotions reveal things about who you are to yourself and others.

    When the famine got bad a lot of people were dealing with a lot.  Life and death situations are stressful.  Any choice that you make could kill you and your loved ones.  It is a lot to deal with.  Israel sent his 10 oldest sons to Egypt to get food.  He kept Benjamin because he was the only son he had left from his beloved Rachel.  He probably became an annoyingly over protective parent after Joseph "died".  

    Joseph was the governor (second to Pharaoh), so his brothers had to come to him to get to the food.  When they arrived they bowed and showed respect, but they did not recognize their brother.  He however knew who they were immediately.  Can you imagine all the emotions that began to stir within him.  He must have had one major storm happening within.  He never did get closure for what his brothers had done to him.  However, if they had not betrayed him then he would not have the life he was living.  It was a good life.  He remembered his dreams that foretold that he would rule over them one day, so he knew it was God's plan playing out.  No matte what you know the reality is a lot to process, especially when you only have a few minutes.

    He chose not to reveal who he was.  That was smart because it gave him more time to process what was happening.  He still wanted to know more about them, his father, and his full blooded younger brother.  He needed to keep them there a bit longer, so he accused them of being spies.  Why not make them sweat a little.  He had control over the situation, but they did not know that.  He allowed nine to return home, but they had to bring Benjamin back to retrieve the one brother.  

    The brothers ironically believed this was their punishment for killing Joseph.  They truly though that Joseph must have died.  As they discussed who would stay, Joseph over heard their conversation.  He had to turn his back to them as he began to cry.  The storm of emotions had to be released somehow.  He gave the nine food and sent them home.  Simeon stayed in Egypt.  

    When they returned they discovered that their money had been returned and they were afraid.  They thought they would be accused of being thieves.  Israel was distressed over losing more sons.  Reuben made a vow to Israel that if Benjamin did not return to him that Reuben would sacrifice his own two sons.  I think he honestly felt bad about the things he did in his angry youth and wanted to make things better.  In Israel's storm of emotions he dug in his heels.  He was not willing to lose Benjamin for Simeon.  Tomorrow you see he does wise up, but today he could not let Benjamin go.

    They all had their stormy feelings which drove them during this stressful time of life.  No one could be accused of not handling it to the best of their ability.  It shows how things in life can change in an instant and how major life changes can affect you.  Just because you go through the motions does not mean that you are not torn up on the inside.  Emotions have to be dealt with or they will destroy you.  When it comes to the storm of emotions, God is the only one that can dissect them and help you sift through the chaos.

Genesis 42