Gimel is the third letter in the Hebrew alphabet. As a word it is related to gemul which means justified repayment. It is used in the terms of giving a reward or punishment. Gimel is more than a letter. It also refers to one of seven tagin crowns that are mentioned in the Toreh.
When you think about gimel it should be in reflection and prayer for God to open your eyes. It is time to contemplate about what you believe and why. Ask God to see His love or to see yourself through His eyes. It is the simplest cure for a rebellious heart. None of us can ever understand unless we are taught or shown.
The soul longs to understand and to obey God. It requires that we squash our arrogant ways. If we do not, then God may show scorn or contempt. It is much easier on us if we remove unpleasant aspects from our lives than to force God to take the situation under His control. He allows free will, but He will only allow a person to mock Him for so long.
Take delight in the Holy Spirit. He will counsel you in obedience and acts of love. He is a gentle teacher that genuinely cares. We are all residents on the earth, but our home is not here. It is okay to feel like you don't always belong. Just pray over it and you can find your comfort.
Psalm 119: 17-24

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