A myth is a fiction that looks true. There are several myths tied in with boundaries. If you want the truth in life, then you have to commit to investigate what sounds true, but without facts to support it. Do not accept what people tell you as fact. Find the roots for yourself.
One myth is that boundaries are selfish. That is the furthest thing from the truth. Boundaries are an act of love, not control. They enable you to care for people better. You may have heard the airplane example. You have to put on your own air mask before helping others or you may both never get oxygen. Boundaries are a form of stewardship. You are taking care of what God has given you in life.
Another myth is that boundaries are disobedient to God. Boundaries are not an act of rebellion or disobedience. The lack of them are because you are not willing to take personal care of the life God gave you. God wants your heart. How can you be fully committed to Him if you are living in fear of what other people may think of you. Boundaries help you live a more honest and transparent life. Boundaries are not wall, but a way to clarify your motives on how you live your life.
The third myth is that boundaries will hurt you. People may not like change. Some people may withdraw, but that may be because your change shows them that they need to change in an area. Do not allow people to manipulate you into changing your boundaries. Boundaries bring quality into your relationships. Let those that are not willing to work with you go.
The fourth myth is that boundaries will hurt other people. Boundaries are a form of defense. They are meant to keep relationship safe. If your boundaries hurt their feelings then it is their issue with change not you. Some people may get angry, but it is because they are losing control over you. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and attitudes. You stating what you need from someone is a kindness. If they are hurt by it, then that is on them. Your supportive relationships will become stronger.
Myth five is that boundaries mean you are angry. The truth should not be told in anger. Setting limits is preemptive. It should keep you from becoming angry or resentful. If you get angry after the boundary has been established, then it means someone has not respected or honored your boundary. Boundaries are invisible guards to protect you not anger you. Once you are angry, then you have to work through it. Try to reestablish more clear boundaries. If that doesn't work, then you may need to sever the relationship. Give yourself time to heal from the wounds that broken boundaries create.
Myth six is that other people's boundaries injure you. It is your responsibility to respect other people's boundaries if you want them to respect yours. If you do adhere to boundaries, then it is their right to sever the relationship. That could hurt, but it is due to your lack of respect not their boundaries. If you are rebellious, then you have to deal with the consequences.
Myth seven is that boundaries cause guilt. If you feel obliged to people, then yes you may feel guilt. The guilt comes from a misconstrued idea of what you are expected to tolerate. It is not for wanting to set healthy boundaries. Boundaries can be hard with family, work, or even church. However without boundaries you will harbor resentment, anger, and burnout. If someone loves you, then they will appreciate the boundaries. Give them time to adapt and you time to become sturdy.
Myth eight is that boundaries are wall. Boundaries are not walls. They do adapt as relationships adapt. You own the boundaries, so you put them where they are needed. If they are no longer needed, then they can disappear. Boundaries create a safe place, so they need to be adaptable. Do not chain yourself to them limiting healthy relationships.
Psalm 37:1-4, Proverbs 13:4, 30:21-23, Matthew 14:22-23, 19:16-22, Luke 6:24-26, John 13:31-35, 2 Corinthians 5:6-10, 9:6-10, 12:5-10, Ephesians 3:14-19, Philippians 2:12-13, 4:10-20
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