Understanding Boundaries

 

    Do you understand what boundaries are and how they work?  They are easily misunderstood.  Do you set clear or unclear boundaries?  The more clear you are the less problems you will have with people overstepping or not acknowledging your boundaries.  If you complain a lot, then it could be an indicator that you do not set clear boundaries.  

    If you don't understand how to set and enforce boundaries, then you may experience guilt when you try to say no or do things that are good for your emotional, mental, or spiritual health.  It may make you redirect too strongly into a critical, fearful, or confrontive person.  The over correction is unbiblical.  You have to understand the purpose of boundaries to keep you in line with God.

    Do not avoid boundaries.  You have needs to protect.  Do not pretend that you do not.  Ask for help when you need help.  If a person is unable to, then it is up to them to let you know.  Do not allow fear of being told no, inconvenience, or being a burden stop you for asking for what you need.  It could be a blessing for someone else to help you out.  At the same time you have to learn how to say no if you can't do it or you will be in trouble yourself.

    Do not try to use boundaries in a way to control people.  A controller does not respect other people's boundaries and it is a flaw.  Take care of your own life and allow other people to live their lives even if it is not the way you would like it to be.  Hijacking other people's lives makes you a bully.  No means no and you have to learn how to accept that.  

    The aggressive controls do not respect or acknowledge other people's boundaries and can become abusive to control people, but not always.  They try to make situations how they want it to.  They typically do not go to God until something happens.  The manipulative controller is less honest than the aggressive controller.  They try to convince people to break their own boundaries to get the outcome that they want through guilt, conniving, charism, and other lying personality traits.

    Nonresponsive people do not hear the boundaries that are given to them.  They are not paying attention or maybe think it doesn't apply to them.  They live their lives how they want without concerning themselves with many inconveniences in life.  They tend to come across incentive or critical.  Some people may call them narcist.  

    Everyone has problems.  Everyone suffers from not understanding other people's boundaries or problems in life.  The goal is to be aware of your blind spots.  Pray for God to reveal where you could be hurting another person(s) by not understanding boundaries.  Prayerfully work through issues you may have that keep you from tending to the boundaries people have given you or boundaries that you may need to proclaim.

Proverbs 3:27-28, 4:23, 30:20, Mark 8:31-33, Romans 12:17-18, 1 Corinthians 8:7-8, Philippians 2:3-4, & Revelations 3:20-22