Validity of Boundaries

 

    Boundaries become valid when you choose to make them a way of life.  You are responsible for the choices you make in life and the boundaries that you establish or ignore.  No one can take ownership of your choices for you.

    You will establish boundaries around what you love or find value in.  They are establish to help keep what you cherish.  It also protects you heart along the way.  However, there are limits.  You can't force other people to care about what you care about.  You can only control how you react.  

    Boundaries help you take a stand against the things that destroy what you love.  They provide internal structure that will give your life balance and the ability to hold onto your identity.  They will help you establish ownership of your life, responsibilities, and self-control.  

    When you set boundaries you are able to use your talents, abilities, and gifts responsibly.  You invest time and energy into yourself and serving God.  You work, practice, learn, pray, find resources, and passion to risk failure.  It makes you accountable, but it also brings joy and happiness to your life as you become productive.  

    You are a reflection of God.  Your mind needs boundaries to comprehend that truth.  You need to be able to separate worldly love from holy love.  Boundaries enable you to take captive every thought that is not obedient to God.  You can tell the difference between your thoughts and the nudging of the Holy Spirit.  The more you learn about yourself and God, the easier it becomes to get rid of distorted thoughts and institute clarity.  

    Boundaries can give life to desires and love.  They help you define what your heart really wants and what you need in life.  As you turn them over to God, He will remove fear and provide you with what you really need.  Your heart is the greatest gift.  It belongs to God, but His holy love enables you to love differently and without limit with other people.  Keep God first to protect your soul, but learn to love openly and transparently with other people.  

Joshua 24:14-15, Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 18:15-17, 20:13-16, 25:14-30, Mark 12:29-31, Romans 8:12-14, 1 Corinthians 5:9-13, 2 Corinthians 9:6-10, 10:3-6, Galatians 5:22-23, & Philemon 13-16

What are Boundaries?

 

    Boundaries are a guideline on how to live your life in peace.  They are not rigid rules with no flexibility.  They change adapt as you grow and change in life.  They are also bend sometimes according to situations.  An example is the "Good Samaritan" story.  It was someone considered unclean that helped the hurt Jew.  Normally the Samaritan would never be allowed to touch the Jew, but to do the right thing the boundary had to be crossed.

    Boundaries are flexible, but there are times you may need to make them rigid to protect yourself and mental health.  If someone is manipulating you or taking advantage, then you need to be rigid with your boundaries.  It is better to be rigid than to have resentment and anger in your heart.  Your feelings are indicators of when a boundary is being crossed or motivate you to step out of your comfort sone to do good.  You should walk in faith, not feelings, but do not underestimate the value of feelings either.

    Your attitude can influence how you handle your boundaries.  Your attitude is influenced by stance on a subject, God, other people, personal life, work life, and relationships.  Your beliefs directly affect your attitude.  Your beliefs are what you believe is true.  That is why you need to work out your faith.  You can't set clear boundaries if you are not clear on your stance in certain areas.

    Your behavior has consequences whether good or bad.  Your behavior may cause someone to set boundaries with you.  If they do, then will you own up to your part or will you ignore their boundaries.  You have to take personal responsibility for how you act and the words that come out of your mouth.  

Proverbs 13:18-24, 15:8-11, Matthew 9:35-38, 15:31-32, Luke 10:30-37, 15:11-32, Galatians 6:7-10

God & Boundaries

 

    Boundaries are a concept set by God for His people.  We know this because after creating Adam and Eve, He set only one boundary: do not eat from one tree.  He gave them all the freedom of the world with only one guideline to protect them.  When they broke that boundary, sin turned into reality, and consequences were enforced.  It led to more boundaries for humanity.  

    God enforces consequences because He is not a liar.  If He says He will do something, then He will.  It is who He is.  He is not human.  He does not have the same issues as us.  He sees all issues, but is always there with you when you are going through yours.  He gave you the Bible to help you set boundaries for yourself, others, and stay close to Him.  Boundaries are a gift that makes life calmer.

    The Trinity have boundaries.  They are one, but they each have their own role.  God is the father, creator, and artist.  Jesus the is the son, redeemer, and conquer.  The Holy Spirit is the counselor, mediator, and the one that lives within every true Christian.  Together they work in perfect unity.  

    A boundary is a line that differentiates you from another living thing.  It allows you to know where you begin and end.  In marriage you become one, but you each are still individuals with different responsibilities and roles.  Mother and baby are another example.  The baby needs the mother to survive, but it does not mean that the mother is not her own entity at the same time.

    You need boundaries for your body, words, truth, distance, time, emotions, and other relationships.  That means you need consequences.  If you set boundaries with yourself, then you have to have integrity.  When other people set boundaries with you, then you need to respect them or deal with their consequences.  If you do not respect boundaries, then do not be surprised if you lose relationships.  When trust is broken it is hard to get it back.

Genesis 12:1-3, Exodus 20:1-17, Leviticus 11:41-45, Isaiah 48:12-13, 60:15-18, Jeremiah 3:11-15, Ezekiel 6:8-10, 36:25-27, Matthew 5:21-6:4, Mark 12:29-31, John 17:22-24, & 1 John 4:7-17

Boundaries for You

 

    The boundaries that you set for your life define who you are.  It tells the world what you will tolerate and allow in your life.  They give you ownership over your life.  The Bible sets clear parameters for society's benefit.  It also teaches you how to set parameters in your life for your personal benefit.

    Boundaries remove confusion.  You never have to question where you stand because you have already made it clear.  You are responsible for your boundaries.  You set them.  You enforce them.  You own them.  You are responsible for your own behavior, conduct, attitude, and decisions.

    You are responsible for carrying your own burdens in life, but without boundaries you may be carrying other peoples without ever wanting to help.  It is okay to help carry each others burdens in a sense of partnership, not pouring everything on other people.  Sharing a burden is like carrying a heavy pail of water.  Each person gets one side, so it is less likely to spill.  It is helping not overwhelming.

    You get to determine who you are.  It is important to confirm it with who God says you are, but the person that the world gets to see is the person you allow people to see.  Boundaries allow you to nurture some things and puts up a fence against other things.  It gives you the space you need to be able work out and work through things.  It is person just like your relationship with God is personal.  Do not neglect what you need.

Proverbs 14:10-14, Mark 7:20-23, Luke 9:23-27, John 1:6-13, 17:9-12, 2 Corinthians 6:11-13, Galatians 6:4-5, James 5:16-18, & Revelations 3:20-21

Boundaries

 

    Boundaries are a gift from God that help life make sense.  The Bible illustrates how to set boundaries and follow through.  A boundary is something that you need a relationship, but it is only a desire if you are not willing to carry out the consequences when someone does not respect what you stated. Boundaries are not restrictions.  They give a relationship the ability to be healthy and what each person needs.  Boundaries give you freedom.

    You need to set boundaries within the family, at work, at church, and with friends.  If you do not set boundaries you may walk away from relationships that could be good, be run over, be taken advantage, or more things that leave you unsettled in life.  The people who do these things may not even be aware that they are crossing a line or pushing too hard.  They need you to communicate what you need.

    You know you need boundaries if you find yourself isolating, feeling helpless or hopeless, confused about the relationship, guilty, or out of control.  Being a people pleaser will not work.  People will take until there is nothing left to take and no one actually is content.  

    You set a boundary by identifying with yourself what is not working and why it is not working for you.  Then you go to that person and say what you need in the relationship to make it work.  You don't need to accusatory or anything like that.  In reality you are just a guilty since you went along with it.  Relationships take both or all parties to make them work.  After you tell the person what you need set the line that can't be crossed.  Let them know what the consequences will be if they do cross that line and be ready to do it.

    The consequences are always meant to redirect, but save the relationship.  However, there are some people in the world that will not care.  They will not respect your boundaries no matter how many times you state them.  Pray for those people.  Love those people.  However, it may get to the point that you have to remove them from your life.  It may not be permanent, but you have to be ready to cut ties if it saves you and your relationship with God.

    God set boundaries with people through the commandments.  He defined sin and set the consequences.  He always enforced the consequences.  At the same time, He never stop seeking a close relationship with people.  He loves His people, so He disciplines them.  If people insist in staying in their sin, then they made their own decisions.  God will always uphold what He said.  You need to do the same.

Proverbs 4:23, 14:9-11, Matthew 5:33-37, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, & Galatians 6:4-5

Press On

 

    Endurance is a muscle that must be worked or it will atrophy.  Endurance is worked in the hard times, spiritual warfare, and trials.  Endurance is part of perseverance.  They work together to make you strong to serve God.  The soul would not persevere in some areas just for you.  It is driven by something bigger than yourself.

    You are the most vulnerable to fall or become complacent after a victory.  You may thing you have conquered something.  A better perspective is to enjoy the victory, rest, and prepare for what comes next.  Never become complacent.  The rest you need is in God's stronghold.  It is not the rest that makes you lazy, entitled, or turning it into an idol.  

    Pressing on is staying connected.  It is staying committed and being reliable.  If you start isolating or doing things your way, then you are leaving yourself vulnerable to spiritual attack.  You will not have anyone there for you to support you or help you when you are wounded.  The burdens of life will only get heavier because you don't have anyone to help you with them.  God is always with you, but He will not make life easier when you are not being obedient.

    In the United States, this is the biggest problem among Christians.  Christians are not uniting and becoming strong.  Christians are not going to church or being a community.  Christians are trying to do everything on their own because the culture is to be independent.  This was never a part of God's plan for your life.  It takes pressing on to change the Christian culture to get it back to what God wants.

    When you press on alone you are going to struggle with soul fatigue, tired and hurting body, despair, depression, impatience, believing Satan's lies, and more.  You are setting yourself up for the kind of burn out that is hard to recover from.  

    You fight independence with accepting the truth, relying on God, and trusting the people that He puts in your life.  The people God puts in your life will be an answer to prayer.  He will put people there to challenge you, but they are there to help you see the truth more clearly.  Stay close to God by faith and obedience.  The closer to Him that you are the stronger, more energized, and confident you will be.  

    Pressing on takes wisdom, accountability, and honesty to be done well.  The Holy Spirit will lift your spirits even when things are uncomfortable or hard.  Embrace self-discipline as a part of who you are so that you will stay in God's Word, pray, and listen everyday.  See where you failed, learn, repent, and move on.  Do not get stuck.  God is with you.  You can do this.  You are victorious, beautiful, and strong with God.

Deuteronomy 25:17-19, 1 Kings 18:18-19, 19:1-9, Psalm 40:1-3, 42:5-8, 62:5-8, Proverbs 6:6-11, 24:30-34, Romans 15:1-4, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Ephesians 6:10-12, Philippians 3:12-14, 2 Timothy 2:15-18

Moving On

 

    Sometimes life feels like it is too much.  It is hard to move forward when you feel stuck, overloaded, or overwhelmed.  The hardest part is getting started especially when you can't see where you need to get started.  Once you get started you begin to see changes or results and it motivates you to keep going.  The point is you finding a way to move on and not be paralyzed.

    Moving on takes strength.  It means you are not willing to quit.  The hard truth is that you have to find this in yourself.  No one can do it for you.  God is with you and the Holy Spirit will give you guidance, but you have to be the one to take action.  Start with making a plan and praying over it.  God will change it along the way or tell you no according to His will.

    Making a plan can help you pin point where you want to go.  It will help you focus on what needs to happen.  Having it in writing will remind you what you are working toward and keep you going.  Give yourself markers that you can check off to see your progress.  

    Life can be intimidating, but you can confront it with God's strength.  Stop focusing on your feelings and lay out the facts.  Walk in faith not feelings.  Feelings are real, but they are not reality.  They can be swayed easily.  When your feelings want to take over remind yourself who you are according to God.

    God's Word will never steer you wrong, so trust it to direct you.  It may help you see why things are not going well: sin, spiritual warfare, redirecting, life events, or something else.  What is happening does not dictate on who you are.  Only God's Word can tell you how valuable you are to God.  Tell yourself the truth everyday and it will help you to move on.

    Rest is vital.  Sometimes your soul, mind, and body just needs to rest before you move on.  You are less likely to be reactive, panic, or fall apart if you are rested.  It helps you to think clearly.  Don't stay in the rest mode so long that it makes you complacent or lazy.  You need to have an end goal, so you will be ready to move on once you have given yourself the appropriate time to heal, sleep, learn, or other forms of needed rest.  If you are in step with Jesus, then the Holy Spirit will let you know when to move on.

    Sometimes you need to stand still to be alone with God.  Maybe you ran ahead of him and got yourself into a mess.  Maybe you just need time alone with Him.  Maybe you stranded off the path and need refreshment after finding your way back.  No matter the reason, periods in life you just need to be still with God.  It is part of growing in perseverance.  

Exodus 14:13-22, 23:1-13, 34:21-24, Joshua 3:7-17, & Psalm 116:1-14