Domestic Abuse

 

    Abuse is a cycle of sin.  It is normally inherited.  It is a cycle of control and manipulation over another person to account for their anger.  When it comes to domestic abuse, the abuser blames the spouse for their heart condition, so that they do not have to face it or take responsibility.  The abuser needs to face God and the source of their anger to start getting better.

    The abused spouse is oppressed.  It is normally women because we are considered the weaker sex.  Biologically that is true, but in some areas it is not.  Women can be the abuser, not always the abused.  If you feel unsafe in your marriage, then you are the abused.

    Abuse always begins in the heart.  It starts with a thought or feeling and the person feeds that negative though or feeling until it becomes alive into an evil action.  The first signs are in how the person speaks.  Do they allow unholy language to come out of their mouths?  Do the degrade you, insult, or overly critical?  These are signs that a person is unsafe.  Even if it never comes to a physical issue, they are destroying your mind and self-esteem.

    The only way for things to get better is through God.  Everything else is a band aide or quick fix that will not last.  The abuser needs to learn what God's love really is and how it can change their hearts.  Only then can they make things better with their spouse or more likely ex-spouse by this point.  The sad things in most abusers never try.

    We need to influence the culture of marriage to advocate for healing and transition.  Separation is only a step to protect the abused.  It does not touch the root of the issue.  The abuser is a person too.  They just are spiritually and or mentally sick.  They need healing.  What they do is not okay, but until we reach the cause the person will never really change.  The abuser will never find peace in their heart to be able to try to fix everything they destroyed. 

    Just for the record sexual infidelity is a form of abuse.  It shows total lack of respect for the marriage.  It is a heart condition too.  There is always a reason and it may or may not have to do with the spouse, but it has to be dealt with by the adulterer.

Deuteronomy 22:13-19, Proverbs 12:10, Colossians 3:18-25, Titus 1:5-7, & 1 Peter 3:1-7