When Adam and Eve allowed sin to enter the world, it corrupted everything. It brought death and dysfunction. It all started in the home and leaked out into the world as humans populated the world. Sin cursed everything it touched.
There has been dysfunction in the family since the beginning. Sin corrupted the unity in the marriage. That dysfunction spilled out onto the children who learned how to be adults by watching and listening to their parents. We do have to give parents a break because Adam and Eve were the first parents and they had no idea how to be parents. Sin broke the intimate commune that they had with God. That means that they had to figure a lot out without God literally holding their hands.
Family is a complex living entity. It is a maze of peoples functions, feelings, emotions, and stages in life. It is not simple. Parents are basically children having children with no idea what they are getting themselves into, even if it is what they want.
God designed the family unit. He created Adam and Eve to populate His beautiful and perfect world. His design was for children to be cared and nurtured for by their parents. Family is supposed to be about unity, love, and nurture. Children are a blessing, so parents are supposed to have a holy intimate relationship with their children.
When a man and woman get married, they become one flesh. They leave their parent's home and their parenting behind to be an union with their spouse. Jesus clarified the design of marriage when he was teaching. He made it clear why divorce became an option and is allowed, but divorce was never a part of God's design.
The family unit needs a mother and a father. A mother brings nurturing and comfort. The father brings structure and strength. Together it makes a beautiful and life giving structure of security, love, and well functioned. It works with God is in the middle. Family is where a man and a woman get married, build their intimate union, then have children. Then the parents raise the child in Godly structure and guidance which teaches them to follow Jesus.
Families build patterns. If the children grow up in dysfunction, then they are more likely to commit to dysfunction in their own lives. They will be attracted to people of dysfunction and marry into it. A relationship with Jesus is really the only way to stop the cycle. However, if a child grows up in a Jesus focused home, then they will more likely grow up confident in following Jesus. They are more likely to marry a Christian and build a strong holy home.
Marriage is supposed to be intimate in every aspect, not just physically. It is meant to produce children, but if you do not have children that is okay. Not having children does not mean that you are sinning or are cursed. God may be leading you on a different path. It is just in the perfect world without sin this was the design.
We have to learn our roles of our sex, age, and in the family before we can teach anyone anything. We need to take the time to build our relationship with God before we jump into any other relationship. We need to be honest with ourselves and transparent with the ones that we love. Acknowledge your faults instead of hiding from them. It is the only way to grow and change to be more like Jesus.
You are in an imperfect family. That is okay. God still loves you. He wants to be a part of that family and help fix it starting with you. God still blesses the imperfect family. He heals broken homes and hearts. Go to Him with your questions on why. He will reveal the answers in His Word. You will find balance in your life in God's Word.
God's design for children is for them to be nurtured throughout their childhood until they leave the home to build their own. Then you just love on them, but you get to focus on you own marriage and relationship with God instead of the children being the main focus.
Nurture is an environment of care. It is having Godly oversight that brings growth and loving development in children. It is having thankfulness in your heart for your child(ren). It is having a logical value of life that will grow you as a person at the same time as raising your child(ren). In the process you build a culture of nurture instead of a culture of sin.
God knew the importance of the function of family, even after sin entered the world. That is why He focused so many of His commands on relationships starting with Him and moving on to the family, then friends, community, and everyone else.
Having children is an act of obedience, but again not everyone can have children. Helping the families raise their children is an act of obedience if you do not have any children of your own. It takes a village to raise a child to be a humble and God serving adult. Children are vulnerable because they are innocent and naive. They need adult to protect them until they are ready to face life. There is no age specific time. It depends on the child, the family, and the community. They important thing is that we all do what we can to bring out Christlike children.
Genesis 1:27-2:24, 4, Psalms 127, & Matthew 19:8-9
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