Sometimes other people are not the problem. Sometimes you struggle with boundaries. You may struggle with setting, upholding, or honoring other people's boundaries. Maybe you have a hard time saying "no". When you are struggling with personal sin, boundaries can make it clear, but that does not mean that it is easy to uphold.
You are human. You have needs. God created you for a purpose you just have to turn to Him and He will fulfill all your needs. He will put the right people into your life to help you meet your needs. He will give you the strength for everything else. Trust in His timing so that you do not fight the boundaries He has laid out for you.
Let go of the bad that has happened in your life. Mourn what did not happen that you had decided you needed. Grow from your disappointments as you let them go. Do not give up on your boundaries just because you do not see results immediately. Life may postpone certain things, but the truth will always be revealed. Do not become stuck. Move on in living your life. You may trail the path of grief for a time, but it will lead to maturity.
Do not allow anger to be the excuse that you disregard boundaries. Fear that gets stuck in your head turns into anger. This fear will drive you to act rashly if you allow it. Hurt people hurt others. You need to bring your fear to God. Expose it so it loses it's power over you. Allow God to heal your heart.
Fearing the unknown can keep you from setting and enforcing boundaries. It makes you a prisoner to the what ifs. Your mind thinks that life may be bad, but you know it and are familiar. If you change anything it could get worse. The truth is that it probably will get worse before it gets better, but staying where you are is not good for you or anyone else. Allow God to show you how things could be different and better. Stay rooting in who God is and how much He loves you as you adventure out into this new world.
Unforgiveness will stop boundaries like a brick wall. Everyone has flaws. Remember that before you hold things against other people. Remember all the stupid things you have done and the people you have hurt. Remember what it meant to you when you forgave them. Remember that when people do unforgivable things that forgiving them will free you from their control. Allow God to bring forth resolution and punishment if it is needed. If the person repents, then great. It means you can work toward reconciliation. If not, then you can move on with your life and leave them in the past where they belong.
Do not allow fear of abandonment to break your boundaries. If you feel insecure, then that means that Satan has a foothold in your mind. If a relationship comes from God, then you do not need to worry about them abandoning you. If the relationship is not from God, then nothing you do will be able to keep that person. If you place anyone before God, then God will remove that person from your life. Living in fear is not living.
Boundaries may not work if you look externally instead of internally about your problems. Looking externally makes you the victim and everyone else is the problem. You think everyone else needs to change, but you. You need to stop blaming and take a real look at yourself. Be honest with where you messed up and need to change. All relationships take more than one person. It is not all on them.
Guilt hinders boundaries. It is where you get stuck in your own head replaying everything you did wrong. You messed up. Accept it, change, and move on. Do not get stuck focusing only on your negative characteristics. If you learned from your mistake, then you can move on freely. Forgive yourself even if the other person never does. No one gets to keep you a prisoner in your own mind.
Boundaries are not easy. That does not change the fact that you need them. Life is full of trouble, doubts, fears, insecurities, and sin. Following Jesus doesn't change that, but it does change your eternal outcome, perspective in the journey, and freedom from what holds you back. Jesus has gone before you and prepared the way. It is not as difficult as it would have been without him. He is with you throughout it all. Hold onto your faith, seek God, and set boundaries.
Psalm 68:1-6, Ecclesiastes 7:1-4, Matthew 10:28-31, 26:1-5, John 16:31-33, Romans 7:14-17, 2 Corinthians 5:6-10, 7:8-10, Ephesians 2:8-10, 3:14-19, Philippians 3:7-11, Colossians 2:13-15, & Hebrews 11:8-10
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