The Holy Spirit gives out gifts to people upon salvation. He also cultivates them into your character and way of life as you mature in your relationship with God. He gives you what you need and helps you learn how to use them, but you have to do your part to remove the roots of everything that would suffocate or steal from your growth. If you don't invest into your own growth it will not happen.
You can look churchy, but that doesn't mean you are actually following Jesus. If you want to grow and have the fruits of the Spirit apparent in your life, then you need to be in God's Word and prayer. You can be the Christian that gives Christianity a good reputation and becomes a light in the world to draw people to God.
Holy Spirit fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. His love teaches you how to love like Jesus. Joy is finding excitement or purpose in life no matter the circumstances. Peace is being able to mentally and emotionally stay calm. Patience is stopping to enjoy life instead of always rushing or focusing on what needs to be done. Kindness is treating people with empathy. Goodness is doing things God's way. Faithfulness is being steadfast in your relationship with God. Gentleness is caring about others and their pain. Self-control is being able to put aside your desires to do things God's way.
The fruits of the Spirit give you spiritual freedom to be right with God instead of trying to earn His love. You obey Him out of love and desire instead of human fear. You are no longer a slave to sin, but it doesn't give you the freedom to keep sinning. You have been set apart to be like Jesus Don't willingly go put yourself back into filth. You don't lose your salvation, but it serves no purpose here and now. The world can't see a difference in you from them.
Allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life. He will produce growth in you. You may stumble from time to time, but you can always repent and get back on track. Allow your heart to change. Salvation circumcises your heart to be able to embrace the truth.
Genesis 17:9-14, John 15:5-8, & Galatians 5
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