Forgiveness

 

    Forgiveness is an action word, but it is not done in one action.  Forgiveness is a process to forgive or to be forgiven for a sin.  The sin could be against God, someone who trusted you, or against yourself.  Forgiveness is never easy, but it is the only way to free your soul from burdens that you do not need to carry.

    The process of forgiveness is a lot like the process of working through grief.  Sometimes they go hand in hand.  On average it takes six to 15 months.  That means it can be quicker for some and longer for others.  There is not a time frame where you can declare that you have forgiven.  You just have to work through the journey.

    The first step is to turn over what it making your angry, resentful, and hurt to God.  Allow Him to work through the process with you and give you wisdom and clarity where it is needed.  If you want to find forgiveness, then you can't just go through the motions.  

    The second step is to talk and work through your issues with the loved one.  That means you have to go to God when you are angry with Him too.  Grace is not give for imagination.  It is given to be applied to situations just like this.  

    Here is the real kicker.  Sometimes you are offended and need to forgive for an offense that happened to to someone else.  This can be harder because you may not even realize that you hare harboring ill feelings.  You just have to allow God to work on your heart and leave the vindication to Him.  That requires trust that He will give justice.  It also means letting go of control of your loved one and just love them.  Pray over them, but don't hold onto ill will for them.

    The thing that none of us really think about: Unforgiveness leave an opening for Satan to get a foothold in our lives.  Once he gets in your head it is hard to get him out.  He wants the anger to grow into hatred.  He wants the hatred to cause you to do evil things.  It is so subtle that it is scary.  You can feel it happening because there is a heaviness that affects everything.  Everything feels harder: forgiveness, to breath, to get up, and more.

    We have to pray to ask God to remove the roots that Satan planted in us that keep us away from God or from healing thoroughly.  The first root that needs to go is unholy anger.  Getting rid of the roots is self preservation.  In practice it is learning boundaries, setting them, and upholding them.  At the same time you are letting go of your pride.  That may be the harder part of the process.  If you do not, then you are at risk of being over run by evil.  Chose to overcome evil with good.

    Another really hard step is choosing to serve those that have hurt you.  Do the opposite of what the world is telling you.  It is part of destroying your pride.  It does not mean that you fully trust that person, but that you are working toward personal freedom.  

    Forgiveness is intentional.  It doesn't happen by accident.  It does take effort.  It is a choice that requires humility, being in God's Word, and prayer.  Pray for revelation for yourself.  Pray over your reactions, thoughts, and where it is all coming from.

    When you need to be forgiven, then ask for it right away before the resentment and anger has a chance to distort things.  Put yourself in their shoes and how you would feel, so that you do not become defensive.  You need to stay sensitive to their feelings and what they are going through, so humble yourself to be what they need.  Put their needs above your own until you are forgiven.  Pray your way through reconciliation.

Proverbs 15:1-4, Isaiah 55:6-9, Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:30-32, & Colossians 3:12-15